not an uncommon occurrance

[rushthatspeaks]

Setting: my pillow, ridiculous o'clock in the morning.

Dramatis personae: Me, a person who is trying to sleep. Lucien, a cat.

Lucien: I love you so much! I am going to sleep on your head now!

Me: *pushes away*

Lucien: Oh, you'd prefer that I sleep on the other side of your head. Okay. I can work with that.

Me: *pushes away with extreme prejudice*

Lucien: You are paying attention to me! You like it when I sleep on your head! Just hang on a minute while I get settled...

Me: NO. Stop trying to sleep on my head, dammit. You are spikey and you get tangled in my hair and you sound like a little furry buzzsaw and you radiate heat as if you thought I might be some kind of snake and you have decided to rescue me from torpidity. And you keep getting your tail in my ear and your paw in my eye and you are spikey enough for me not to want you *anywhere near* my eyes with your paw. Capisce?

Lucien: *purr* *purr* *purr* *tries to sneak up on pillow while he thinks I'm not paying attention*

Me: GODDAMMIT IT IS RIDICULOUS O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING I WANT TO SLEEP

Lucien: So sleep. I'll just be right here. On your head.

Me: Okay, you asked for it. *grabs cat, picks him up the wrong way, pets him in the wrong direction, turns his ears inside out, holds him by the feet, inspects his back teeth, etc. in a general effort to be so annoying that he will go away*

Lucien: *purrs louder*

Me: You are a masochist. *bites cat on the nose*

Lucien: i wuvs u

Me: *is now sufficiently awake to have to read something before trying to sleep again, and sleepily furious to boot*

Lucien: ♥

Comments

[desperance.livejournal.com]

*dies of the recognising-laughter*

(if I'd been away, my Sophie-cat used to reckon my head needed sitting on, in the deadest of the night. It was a slow process, an artist seeking balance: first one front paw and then another, a little hop to get the back paws up onto my cheekbone, and then a thump as her bottom came down on my ear; and then the purring...)

[assume-a-virtue.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, this is quite familiar. Just add some pacing up and down one's spine while digging the claws in, and you've got Tuxedo there, too.

[seishonagon.livejournal.com]

It beats the pup these days - he wakes us up making masculine dominance displays at our new trash can. Which includes, you know, marking the room.

[shewhomust.livejournal.com]

Or as my mother used to say about her fluffy boy, "Darling, he's so demanding in bed!"

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Every so often I get all sad that my cat is not a lap cat, and prefers to sit near me instead of on me.

Then someone posts something like this and I feel all better.


(My mother tells me the best present I ever gave her was a kitty bed and a kitty heating pad, which successfully lured her cat off of her body, which made her back hurt, and onto the kitty bed for most nights.)

[yhlee.livejournal.com]

*dies*

Sadly enough, the lizard also sometimes tries to sit on our heads when we're sleeping...maybe she has cat in her ancestry somehow.

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

You know, I'm not sure whether knowing perfectly well that the lizard is your daughter makes that more entertaining, or less.

[goat-girl.livejournal.com]

I have a similarly masochistic cat.

Me: Stop scratching my already destroyed couch, you horrible animal!

Cat: Try and stop me. [Scratch scratch]

Me: I will spank you if you don't stop!

Cat: You wouldn't dare!

Me: Here I go! [swat swat at kitty butt]

Cat: Oh YES! YES YES YES YES YES! [Wiggles butt to towards swatter]

Me: You're not enjoying this punishment, are you?

Cat: Not at all. A little to the left, would you? YES, that's the spot! Harder! HARDER!

Me: Uh uh. I'm going into the other room to ignore you.

Cat: Where are you going? I'M NOT DONE YET!

Me: Ew.

[Sigh]

[handworn.livejournal.com]

That's a good post, very funny.

Our cat is a farm cat, not a lap cat, and only at the coldest times will he condescend to lie on a lap, preferably afghan-covered. It's the opposite problem from yours.

[marchharetay.livejournal.com]

It is regrettably kitty on head season when the warm blankets come out. And the time of contorty sleep pain, b/c OMG must not crush the encroaching kitties.

I don't permit humans to glue themselves to me of an evening, but the kitties, I spend a half an hour trying to persuade to move a few inches or release my arm.