not an uncommon occurrance

Setting: my pillow, ridiculous o'clock in the morning.

Dramatis personae: Me, a person who is trying to sleep. Lucien, a cat.

Lucien: I love you so much! I am going to sleep on your head now!

Me: *pushes away*

Lucien: Oh, you'd prefer that I sleep on the other side of your head. Okay. I can work with that.

Me: *pushes away with extreme prejudice*

Lucien: You are paying attention to me! You like it when I sleep on your head! Just hang on a minute while I get settled...

Me: NO. Stop trying to sleep on my head, dammit. You are spikey and you get tangled in my hair and you sound like a little furry buzzsaw and you radiate heat as if you thought I might be some kind of snake and you have decided to rescue me from torpidity. And you keep getting your tail in my ear and your paw in my eye and you are spikey enough for me not to want you *anywhere near* my eyes with your paw. Capisce?

Lucien: *purr* *purr* *purr* *tries to sneak up on pillow while he thinks I'm not paying attention*

Me: GODDAMMIT IT IS RIDICULOUS O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING I WANT TO SLEEP

Lucien: So sleep. I'll just be right here. On your head.

Me: Okay, you asked for it. *grabs cat, picks him up the wrong way, pets him in the wrong direction, turns his ears inside out, holds him by the feet, inspects his back teeth, etc. in a general effort to be so annoying that he will go away*

Lucien: *purrs louder*

Me: You are a masochist. *bites cat on the nose*

Lucien: i wuvs u

Me: *is now sufficiently awake to have to read something before trying to sleep again, and sleepily furious to boot*

Lucien: ♥

not an uncommon occurrance

Setting: my pillow, ridiculous o'clock in the morning.

Dramatis personae: Me, a person who is trying to sleep. Lucien, a cat.

Lucien: I love you so much! I am going to sleep on your head now!

Me: *pushes away*

Lucien: Oh, you'd prefer that I sleep on the other side of your head. Okay. I can work with that.

Me: *pushes away with extreme prejudice*

Lucien: You are paying attention to me! You like it when I sleep on your head! Just hang on a minute while I get settled...

Me: NO. Stop trying to sleep on my head, dammit. You are spikey and you get tangled in my hair and you sound like a little furry buzzsaw and you radiate heat as if you thought I might be some kind of snake and you have decided to rescue me from torpidity. And you keep getting your tail in my ear and your paw in my eye and you are spikey enough for me not to want you *anywhere near* my eyes with your paw. Capisce?

Lucien: *purr* *purr* *purr* *tries to sneak up on pillow while he thinks I'm not paying attention*

Me: GODDAMMIT IT IS RIDICULOUS O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING I WANT TO SLEEP

Lucien: So sleep. I'll just be right here. On your head.

Me: Okay, you asked for it. *grabs cat, picks him up the wrong way, pets him in the wrong direction, turns his ears inside out, holds him by the feet, inspects his back teeth, etc. in a general effort to be so annoying that he will go away*

Lucien: *purrs louder*

Me: You are a masochist. *bites cat on the nose*

Lucien: i wuvs u

Me: *is now sufficiently awake to have to read something before trying to sleep again, and sleepily furious to boot*

Lucien: ♥