the something moment of the day
Mar. 16th, 2006 08:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rushthatspeaksI was walking back from Davis Square, where the gods of used clothing had delivered into my hands two pairs of jeans just when I was down to owning only two pairs of pants, and a guy tried to pick me up.
This happens. Not frequently, but not infrequently. They tend, of course, to be people I immediately want to cross the street to avoid. This guy wasn't-- groomed, not leering, polite-- so I would ordinarily have turned him down with a smile and a 'no thanks' (instead of the I-do-not-see-you nose-in-the-air they get if they make remarks about my anatomy).
Except... he was crying. As in, he was crying before he tried to pick me up. Tears streaming down his face. Little choking sobs. Hoarse voice. And he kept crying while he was talking to me, despite the fact that he was literally dripping on the sidewalk.
I have to admit I was a bit unnerved, especially since he seemed to be trying pretty fiercely to ignore it. He'd scrub his knuckles over his eyes every so often and clench his fists, and then he'd ask again if I was sure I couldn't come for coffee.
I asked him outright what was wrong and he pretended not to hear me.
Eventually I said 'Look, if you need to talk I'll go for coffee with you at the place down the block, but you should know that I'm very happily married and you haven't got any chance of my doing anything other than listening to you', but he made it pretty clear that he wasn't interested unless it was A Date, so I left.
It was just... very, very odd. Because it was like he'd got this social code ingrained about How You Talk To Women, and so he had to stick to it even when whatever he was crying about made it absolutely impossible for that code to mean anything at all. It was definitely emotionally related crying; I've seen the kind of tears one gets in the eyes from strong breezes and the kind of watery-eye one can get from allergy medicine, but this guy was crying as though somebody had died. And he wasn't using it to try to get me to pay attention to him, either, although I got the feeling he pretty desperately needed attention from somebody. He was just trying to present himself as though this didn't exist, as though he weren't nearly incapable of coherent speech.
I'm not sorry I left, because I don't think there was any way I could have been helpful, but I do hope he manages to get someone to talk to him or listen to him or whatever it is he needs. And I don't feel particularly upset about it or anything myself, but it was just... how very, very strange and wondrous.
This happens. Not frequently, but not infrequently. They tend, of course, to be people I immediately want to cross the street to avoid. This guy wasn't-- groomed, not leering, polite-- so I would ordinarily have turned him down with a smile and a 'no thanks' (instead of the I-do-not-see-you nose-in-the-air they get if they make remarks about my anatomy).
Except... he was crying. As in, he was crying before he tried to pick me up. Tears streaming down his face. Little choking sobs. Hoarse voice. And he kept crying while he was talking to me, despite the fact that he was literally dripping on the sidewalk.
I have to admit I was a bit unnerved, especially since he seemed to be trying pretty fiercely to ignore it. He'd scrub his knuckles over his eyes every so often and clench his fists, and then he'd ask again if I was sure I couldn't come for coffee.
I asked him outright what was wrong and he pretended not to hear me.
Eventually I said 'Look, if you need to talk I'll go for coffee with you at the place down the block, but you should know that I'm very happily married and you haven't got any chance of my doing anything other than listening to you', but he made it pretty clear that he wasn't interested unless it was A Date, so I left.
It was just... very, very odd. Because it was like he'd got this social code ingrained about How You Talk To Women, and so he had to stick to it even when whatever he was crying about made it absolutely impossible for that code to mean anything at all. It was definitely emotionally related crying; I've seen the kind of tears one gets in the eyes from strong breezes and the kind of watery-eye one can get from allergy medicine, but this guy was crying as though somebody had died. And he wasn't using it to try to get me to pay attention to him, either, although I got the feeling he pretty desperately needed attention from somebody. He was just trying to present himself as though this didn't exist, as though he weren't nearly incapable of coherent speech.
I'm not sorry I left, because I don't think there was any way I could have been helpful, but I do hope he manages to get someone to talk to him or listen to him or whatever it is he needs. And I don't feel particularly upset about it or anything myself, but it was just... how very, very strange and wondrous.
