Happy Ragnarok!

[rushthatspeaks]

As I'm sure everyone knows from experience by now, today is the day on which the Norse predicted that Ragnarok would happen.

Today, the golden cock which crows to wake the chosen dead in Valhalla was answered by his darker brother on the lintel of the halls of Hel. (This satisfied many, as the golden cockcrow has long been available as a phone ringtone, but nobody knew what the other cock would sound like: now you can get the set!) The host of forgotten dead crowded onto the boat made of dead men's toenails, as many as would fit, and set sail to meet their commander, Loki, and to join the war against the gods. Fenris, father of wolves, and Jormungandr, greatest of serpents, broke their bonds and entered the fray; Heimdall, watchful son of nine mothers, blew his horn when he heard the army in the distance, and the Aesir rushed to the fated battle.

The Norse were never an especially populous culture, but I am still told it was a spectacular show from most of Denmark, Sweden, and Iceland, with chunks visible from Britain (albeit obscured by heavy cloud cover) and from portions of Finland. The Baltic ran with warrior's blood, the cleanup of which is now causing concern among several environmental groups and the environmental ministries of the countries in question.

In the end, of course, all that vast host slew one another, Odin and Loki dying in one another's arms, Fenris and Thor destroying each other with fang and hammer, no living thing moving on the battlefield except the inevitably gathering ravens in the bleak stillness. The sun was eaten by the wolf in his death throes, meaning an uptick in electricity bills for the Baltic and North Sea regions for the foreseeable future, as there has been no timeline given for the birth of the new sun and the rise of high Gimlè.

Survivors include the two sons of Thor, Magni and Modi, already devoted to rescue and repair efforts; an ordinary couple whose home turned out to be the epicenter of the battle, called Lif and Lifthrasir; and the Vanir gods Njord and Skadi, who were occupied at the time taking selfies with various athletes at the Sochi Olympics. Dark rumors of the survival of the dragon Nidhogg, who gnawed the tree of Yggdrasil until it collapsed, also persist all over Buzzfeed.

I went to a coffeeshop and tried to work on my novel, since I knew I'd be too far away to see anything really spectacular. I hope this is our last fated and prophesied apocalypse for a couple of years, but one never knows.

Comments

[wordweaverlynn]

May I link to this?

[rushthatspeaks]

Sure!

[snarp]

I appreciate the decision to post this with a dead Feferi icon.

[rushthatspeaks]

It seemed appropriate!

[starlady]

The real question, though: does this mean there will be six more weeks of Fimbulwinter, or not?

[rushthatspeaks]

Did Ratatosk see his shadow when he jumped out of Yggdrasil as it fell, is the question there, and I haven't seen any of his interviews about it yet...

[redbird]

Thank you so much for writing this up; most of the media seem to be dividing their attention between Ukraine (which I agree is important) and local crime, traffic, and weather reporting.

I expect the business pages will cover the effects on the oil market of Norway having less to sell, but they may not bother mentioning why Norwegian exports are down.

[rushthatspeaks]

I heard all the media coverage was pretty bad anyway, mostly interviews with the Marvel Norse movie actors, as though they had any inside knowledge or anything. I have not as yet checked Al Jazeera, though, they might have been doing better...

[athenais]

It's a good thing Norway already won a lot of Olympic medals, what with their athlete warriors being drawn into the final battle and all.

[rushthatspeaks]

Yeah, it's just as well it was so close to the end of the Olympics.

I don't believe the rumors that said that medal standings affected how many athletes from each Nordic country were drafted to fight on the side of the Aesir, though, I mean that's just ridiculous.

[sovay]

Survivors include the two sons of Thor, Magni and Modi, already devoted to rescue and repair efforts; an ordinary couple whose home turned out to be the epicenter of the battle, called Lif and Lifthrasir; and the Vanir gods Njord and Skadi, who were occupied at the time taking selfies with various athletes at the Sochi Olympics.

I love you.

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

I mean, where else would Njord and Skadi possibly be? I wondered for a long time, but it being an Olympic year Explains Everything.

[steepholm.livejournal.com]

I caught the first half on telly, but to be honest once you've seen one mountain hurled across the welkin you've seen them all.

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

The media coverage wasn't all that great anyway. I mean, it's not as though we haven't all had endless puff pieces asking the stars of the Marvel kinda-Norse movies what they thought of the whole thing anyway in the runup; I don't think we needed live commentary from them in addition. Though I did enjoy Tom Hiddleston pointing out how absolutely he bears no resemblance to Loki, because after the last couple of years that needed saying.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

That certainly explains the amazing amount of activity on the emergency hotline today. My line was ringing off the hook. Including now, at 2:30 AM. Goddammit.

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

I've also heard people say that this year's weather becomes readily explicable if you see it as a preview of Fimbulvintr.

(I hope things calmed down eventually. Whoof!)

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

I got ANOTHER call at 7:30 AM. WHY.

[ashnistrike.livejournal.com]

Every day is the end of the world. We celebrated by arguing about precise translations and appropriate linguistic uses of "apocalypse" versus "apocrypha," and watching Tom Hiddleston videos.

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

That sounds both appropriate and enjoyable! I offer the traditional felicitations of the day: may you have an honorable death in battle!

[encephalogistic.livejournal.com]

Meh. If you've seen one world-spanning fence made out of eyebrows, you've seen them all.

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

I know, right? After a while it's like, welp, that's yet another tragically fated death happening at exactly the time to prevent a star-crossed love affair, and yet another monster from the deeps of time emerging from its grave of ice to menace a battalion of brave warriors. So then you turn to HBO, and it's Game of Thrones, and it's like, did I even change channels?

[hawkwing-lb.livejournal.com]

Sadly, Ragnarok wasn't visible from Dublin, what with the cloud cover and the rain.

Suspect we need to get on to the local authorities about replacing our sun, though. Bloody Norse and their bloody apocalypses. No concern for other people's property.

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

Really wish we had a time frame on the birth of the new sun. But no, the prophesies are all depressingly vague. It could be, like, weeks.

[hawkwing-lb.livejournal.com]

If I were in the Mediterranean, I know which parts of their pantheons are supposed to be responsible for proper functioning of celestial bodies, but in these parts it's all "Please hold" and warbly harp music, and if you do get ahold of someone, somehow it always turns out that suns aren't part of their job...

[nineweaving.livejournal.com]

"This is Ratatoskr speaking from the End of All. Good night and good night."

Nine

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

Ooh, did you see an interview? I'm still trying to find the official announcement as to whether he saw his shadow when he jumped off Yggdrasil as it fell-- do we get six more weeks of Fimbulvintr?

[nineweaving.livejournal.com]

There may or may not have a been a squirrelly shadow cast in the nanosecond before the Ultimate Extinction. Sadly, we believe that Ratatoskr had his eyes screwed shut as he was falling, and he wouldn't have seen either way. Transmission has been lost, or we'd ask him.

Nine

[teenybuffalo.livejournal.com]

toenail boat

Where is my TOENAIL BOAT

I ask you

[handful-ofdust.livejournal.com]

I was stupidly happy, years ago, to discover that OF COURSE there wa a Swedish Melodic Metal band called Naglfar. This cut seems appropriate:

[teenybuffalo.livejournal.com]

;_;

I am smitten with these people

LEGIONS OF UNGODLY BIRTH

WIPE OUT THE HUMAN FLEAS