to the slug I just peeled off the door of our refrigerator

[rushthatspeaks]

You are an intrepid adventurer. You really, really are. You have climbed through several very small spaces, around several corners, and up a theoretically insurpassable gap between the refrigerator door and the floor to reach this point.

And what I'd like to know is, sincerely, WTF?

Is magnetic poetry really that magnetic?

Is your lifelong ambition to hold someone's drawings up or something?

In addition, I would like to point out that after I politely removed you to the flowerbed at the front of the house it took me ten minutes to get the slug slime off my hands. Ten minutes of solid scrubbing, with soap. Is there some trick to this I am not getting?

Don't do it again, and I mean that very

Sincerely,
RTS

Comments

[marith.livejournal.com]

Perhaps it was a person turned into a slug through an unfortunate accident, and knew that its only hope was to find some way of communicating. Did any of the magnetic poetry on the fridge look rearranged?

help       frantic wave  
     delight              no
                            salt 

[faithhopetricks.livejournal.com]

Is magnetic poetry really that magnetic?

((laughs helplessly for at least five minutes))

[brisingamen.livejournal.com]

a theoretically insurpassable gap

There is nothing a slug cannot do, when it applies what passes for a cerebral cortex to the problem. I have seen a slug squeeze between a door and a frame, apparently by dint of rearranging itself at a sub-molecular level. Who knows what yours might have done if it had spent more time with the magnetic poetry.

[secritcrush.livejournal.com]

ewwww slug slime!

[khyros.livejournal.com]

just a thought here, would salt make slug slime any easier to get off?

[zdenka]

Oh, dear. I'm sorry.

But the way you told it was really, really funny. *grin*

Since slugs kinda freak me out, better your refrigerator than mine?

[reversepolarity.livejournal.com]

I sorta think that slugs are semi-extradimensional beings. They only partially exist on the Prime Material Plane, and as such, they can do things which we think they shouldn't be able to do.

There's probably an Elemental Plane of Slug somewhere. Eww.

[snaegl.livejournal.com]

Wow...maybe since I successfully kept the slugs off my lettuce, they've teleported to your refrigerator instead?

[sovay]

Is your lifelong ambition to hold someone's drawings up or something?

Given the persistence of slug slime that you report in the next sentence, I think if you'd used the slug to hold up a photograph, you'd never have gotten it off the refrigerator door in your lifetime. As entertaining as this might have been for the next person to own the refrigerator . . .

[marchharetay.livejournal.com]

The possibility of that and the World Entirely of Shrimp give one pause re: much dimension trotting.

[fleurdelis28.livejournal.com]

I would totally read "The Slug that Wanted to Be a Refrigerator Magnet." Sounds like it could be an inspiring saga of a lifelong dream. Maybe illustrated by Leo Leoni.

[ssuzzi-q.livejournal.com]

I have a place on my website for jokes, weird stories, and stuff. I would really like to post that one if its okay. Let me know.